Tears have the capacity to change us. Crying can be at once an acknowledgement of pain and sorrow, and the release of it. For when we give our loving attention to whatever is arising in us, we are also, allowing it to shift and move. Tears flow, as does the energy of whatever it is we are crying about. This is not to say that it will be the end of the grief, or pain, but it will allow for the possibility of movement, of change, rather than of stagnation.
I am working with Skeleton Woman. She came to me several years ago in a drum journey and has journeyed with me ever since. Those of you who read my newsletters regularly will know her powerful story and its impact upon my life. You can read some of my earlier reflections on her here. And I will mention a small part of the story now, for She is walking with my Spider Sisters in this year’s Otways Four Seasons Journey.
Skeleton Woman comes to us from the Inuit peoples of Northern Canada. Though for me, and many others it was Clarissa Pinkola Estes who introduced us to Skeleton Woman through her much celebrated book, Women who Run with the Wolves.
The tale of Skeleton Woman, like all myths is multilayered, and so too are the meanings, messages and truths that can be gleaned from her Story. And for now, I am only referring to one aspect of the myth, the giving of tears. For in this tale, When the Fisherman has finally stopped running from Her, “a feeling of some kindness” has arisen within him. And he begins “like a mother to child” to gently untangle her. Long into the night he works, “until Skeleton Woman’s bones were all in the order a human’s should be”. And when finished, he “lights a little more fire” and he sits with her. And she sits in silence with him. No longer afraid, he is at last able to sleep. And while sleeping a single tear escapes from his eye. And Skeleton Woman, “put her mouth to his tear” and drinks “for this single tear was like a river and she drank and drank and drank until her many years long thirst was slaked.”
We see in this myth what a nourishment tears are. We see how the man has gifted Skeleton Woman his tears. And this tear is a deep well of nourishment, for it comes from a place of compassion, of his “deepest feeling”. This is his gift, to be true, and kind and generous with his whole self. And in return Skeleton Woman is willing to meet himself and herself there. For she drinks from his well. She drinks and drinks and drinks. We must be willing to receive this nourishment when offered. We must listen to our deeper knowing, and be present to the extraordinary capacity of tears to transform. And Skeleton Woman is a tale of deep transformation. And if you haven’t read it, please do. There is so much to learn. And if you haven’t cried much lately, perhaps it is time for that too. Perhaps there is some deep nourishment for you in the flow of tears, in the movement that arises when we surrender fully to whatever needs expression in our being.