On Illness- part 1

On illness part 1

Illness is a gateway into another way of being.  Time shifts and morphs. The hours do not tick by, for those clocks hold no sway. You are in another realm. In this realm ordinary things become extraordinary, drinking water, sensing sunshine on your body, the rush of the wind in the leaves. All these little moments are magnified and intensified. This is the realm of magic and wonder. This is the realm of the Shaman. And here I roamed for three weeks, in and out of time, of sleep, of dreams, of earth. She of whom we are all made.

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I have been in the descent phase of the cycle for the past three weeks.  I have been bleeding during all this time, mostly it was not my menstrual flow, mostly it was blood loss due to surgery and then infection. I still have a small pool of blood behind my uterus which will hopefully be absorbed back into my body. Just as our blood is reabsorbed back into the body of the earth. My body is healing is recovering but it’s been a long process. For over three weeks now, I have been shedding, releasing fighting and healing.  For three weeks I have been in the dark.

I do not fear the dark, well not all of it anyway. The cultural imprint which demonises the dark has some sway but I have learnt through experience that the dark can be a great comfort, perhaps the greatest of all.  Here you are nothing and everything. Here you lay your whole body down and are met, fully.  With illness there is nothing to do, you can only be. And the darkness is a place of being. Perhaps even of not yet being, of waiting to be, for the darkness is everything, even the not yet, the not quite is here.

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While I wouldn’t choose to have ACIS (adeno carcinoma in situ) in my cervix it has been a gift. A gift of returning to my body. This is my work, my way and yet it’s so easy to stray from this path of body wisdom, of body knowing. And illness and disease brings you right back into your body. Wham. There is no other place you can be. I felt my whole self integrated, my whole self focused deeply on myself. It wasn’t simply the pain the caused this, it was a whole shift in awareness as my body dictated where and what I could do and mostly I could not do, I could only be.

This beingness is so profound. It  is a teacher, a wise and gentle teacher.  Which is not to say the pain was gentle but the only response to my experience of it, was to be, to sit, to lie, to walk ever so slowly, each step a miracle. Really truly. Thich Nhat Hanh reminds us of this, he says “Invest 100 percent of yourself into making a step. Touching the ground with your foot, you produce the miracle of being alive.” Our aliveness is a miracle.  We are all 15 billion year in the making, we are still flaring forth with the miracle of this great unfolding, this great mystery of life here on earth. I bow.

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So here I am well enough now to write, to reflect on this journey aiming to stay present, to write while I write, think when I think and walk when I walk. For me, beingness is the antidote to our culture of doingness, of always being busy, of not truly being present because we are so focused on the things we still have to do. And they will never stop, unless we do. Unless we stop and pause and be.

And because I am still in recovery, this is all I am posting for now. There is more to be said but my energy wanes, even as the moon waxes. It is Lammas, the first of the harvest festivals as my cletic ancestors would have celebrated. I too celebrate with a small offering, and deep gratitude for all that I have harvested through this diagnosis/disease/illness/beingwithness. I am so grateful for the slowing down, for the reminder that my body needs rest. So too does the earth. Rest a while if you can in the pause of this seasonal descent. Many blessings

Sacred Sensuality Pathways to Presence and Pleasure

This post offers you some more information on our upcoming workshop, Sacred Sensuality Pathways to Presence and Pleasure. Both Grace and I are also free to answer any questions you have. Please read this first, and the FAQs at the bottom of this page!.

GUIDING PRINCIPLES
The Chambers Dictionary defines the word sensual as ‘of the senses, as distinct from the mind; not intellectual or spiritual.’ But actually, our embodied experience, as women, as humans, is a spiritual experience, and there is an deep intellect of the body that is wise and true! We are rewriting this old story, shedding this mis truth.

The sacred is not beyond us, but within us, and it is through our bodies, senses and intuition that we commune with divine Mystery.

We offer a shamanic perspective on sensuality, on the embodied experience of being a woman.

In our perspective, the body is the gateway to and the locus of our spirituality. In this earthly plane, Spirit is matter and matter is spirit.

* * *
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We are all sexual beings. Sexuality is far vaster than limited commercialised/patriarchal versions of it.

Sexuality is the pulse of the universe flowing through each of us.

We are 100 percent sexually alive beings.

Sexuality is the eroticism for life, the source of our essential creativity.

Sexuality is a whole body/whole spirit way.

We always have a womb space – whether or not we still have a physical womb – and we can always attune to its wisdom.

* * *

Sexuality is integral to our rites of passage into the phases of woman.

“As a woman journeys through her life, during her incarnation on the earth plane this time around, she encounters many a shamanic journey. These are the opportunities for transformation and development of her being. Menstruation, pregnancy, birth, and menopause are shamanic journeys. A woman travels deeply during these times into her inner world, which reflects the landscape of the shamanic realms. She meets her fears, her obstacles and her deep inner knowing in her lower world, she plays out different scenarios in her middle world, connecting with what is and she meets her extraordinary strength, wisdom and available guidance in her upper world.” School of Shamanic Womancraft handbook

Our sensual experience of each rite of passage is that which helps us to transmute the experience from a mundane one to a shamanic one in which we are transformed.

Our calling to earth, the moment of our conception, is a sexual experience.

Birth is our ecstatic entry into the world via our mother’s vagina, or not.

Menarche is our opening to our fertility cycle, a journey in which we continually cycle through hormones, through desires, through sexual, creative energies, through the life/death/life cycle. We meet our womb blood for the first time. We meet our wombs and the stirrings of this energy.

Birth is a direct response to sexual activity, a fertilisation of our creative impulse. All our births are rites of passage, whether they come to full term or not, whether they are human babies or other significant creative acts.

Peri-menopause is the opportunity to rebirth ourselves as we respond to fluctuating hormones, triggered by our wombs, eggs and the spiritual and psychological opportunities rising through the journey towards cessation of our menstrual cycle.

Menopause is the gateway to a second Spring, to a sexuality in which pregnancy is no longer a possibility and a deeper spiritual sexuality can flourish.

Our sexuality is integral to who we are.

* * *

The body is the gateway/is the portal/is the lived experience/is the temple.

We have to drop into the wisdom of the body to fully negotiate our experiences. It is by turning within, to the feelings, the energy, the cellular patterns and deep inner knowing that we can find and release the blockages that keep us trapped in old stories, and it is also the way we tap into the enormous potential of life, to the Shakti, the primordial feminine energy.

This energy/ this life force is available to us right now, it is us.

But we have become skilled adaptors and controllers. We repress this enormous energy. We resist it, we deny it because our culture tells us too. How obedient we have become.

* * *

Shame is an enormously powerful way to control another. We are shamed by our bodies, we are shamed by our sensuality, we are shamed by our sexuality and our feminine power. We are shamed. And this shame is in our cells. It is intergenerational trauma, that we pass on and pass on and pass on until we heal.

And our healing is a reclamation of our bodies as creative, sensual, intelligent, imaginal, as the source of power. We are like the Goddess Druga, staying in our truth, no matter what. Being soft and yet deeply embodied, so that the demons (shame, fear, mistrust) no longer hold sway. We cut them down by being so fully in our bodies. In our bliss.

We can use the wisdom of the cycles to create conditions that are ripe for shedding that which no longer serves and for seeding that which does. We tend to that which we want to see growing in ourselves, and let go of that which we don’t.

As Shaman we learn to witness ourselves, to be with and honour our own unique flowering on the tree of life. We recognise that our wounds & our painful experiences are as much teacher as the blessings, and sometimes more.

* * *

As shaman we know the power of the circle. We sit in sacred circle and the circle is teacher/is healer/is shaman. In this space magic arises. In this space we heal and flourish. All is sacred/all is safe/all is. We are the many faces of the Goddess, each of us mirroring the divine. We are our sisters. We are our selves.

The circle is integral to our work.

Bookings here:

https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/sacred-sensuality-retreat-tickets-39999852636

FAQs

What are the principles that inform this work?

You can read more about our grounding principles at the end of these FAQs (see below).

What are my transport/parking options for getting to and from the event?

Details coming soon.

How can I contact the organiser with any questions?

Very happy to talk through any questions! Call Sarah on 0435 140 148 or Bec on 9478 239 400.

What’s the refund policy?

Refunds

If you cancel your participation before 1 January 2018 you will be refunded 50% of the deposit- ($50).

If you cancel after this time you will be refunded 50% of your full payment.

There will be no refunds 30 days prior to the event. In case of illness you can transfer the course fees to another event within the year minus the full deposit.

Do I have to bring my printed ticket to the event?

No, we will have your name on a list.

Is my registration fee or ticket transferrable?

Yes, just let us know who’s coming instead!

Moonsong- Listening to the Feminine

So blessed to sit in circle today with 20 women at RAW Gardens, to celebrate International Red Tent Day. Such gratitude to feel the magic of the circle, the healing that comes with showing up, with sharing and with listening with the ears of our heart to our sisters speak… It is time to find our voices, our truths, and to listen willingly and openly…it is time for our families, communities and the world to hear the voices of women, to let the feminine speak in her myriad voices of her truth. Not the truth of a world/cultures which denigrates women, the body, the earth, life/death/life but the truth that comes from deep within, a truth that is rooted in the earth, in her and our bodies. Our lived experience.

The redtent3time is now, so find your way to love yourself enough, to honour yourself enough to reach out to support other women, and to hear their stories, their songs, their poems, their tongues, their carvings, engravings, weaving….find women, listen and be listened too. Such healing arises when we feel we can be really heard. When we listen to ourselves, and give ourselves the space to acknowledge, to heal, to be.

I am blessed to have such a group of dear women around me, my family, my friends, my mermaid sisters, my teachers…and all those who came today, and who come to the call of the feminine….If you feel a desire to go deeper in this work, then i encourage you to find a red tent near you. There is a revolution and they are springing up everywhere..You might also consider a year long dive into the feminine mysteries with the School of Shamanic Womancraft.This was and still is such a profound journey or healing for me, and those who i have journeyed with. It is MAGIC!!! And if you want a taster of this work, I am also hosting a day, to explore the treasure map of our blood mysteries, our feminine mysteries, with Moonsong.

In this workshop you will:

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  • learn about the wisdom of the cycles and our life seasons
    • the influence of the lunar cycle and the earth’s seasons
    • the spiritual practice of menstruation and the transformative power of our rites of passage
    • understand why you feel the way you do!
    Sunday 17 January 2016
    9.00- 5.00

    • Carnegie, Victoria  (address provided on booking)
      Morning and afternoon tea provided…$80
    • bookings essential

Many thanks again to all those who showed up today. Gratitude for the feminine flow!

Blessings sarah zxx

 

Connecting with the inner child

whimThe maiden is here. Spring really is on her way. We can see her rising with the green leaves and shoots. Buds are forming on my peach, plum, nectarine and quince trees, as the energy rises. In the Temple of She! and the women’s mysteries this energy of spring is associated with the maiden.  She who rises with the sun, who dances with the breeze, and the element of air.  The maiden is wild and free, She is untamed and deeply connected to nature, to creativity and to play.

Many of us lose this connection and we forget to honour our creativity. We shun that power that rises through us, forgetting how to play, to laugh, to imagine possibilities. But of all us have her within us. All of us can reconnect with our inner child, that maiden energy full of potential and power. So how do we reconnect with this beautiful aspect of our being? There are many ways but essentially it is about being open, and allowing her to express herself. For this we need to let go of the critic, the adult, the responsible one (and often actually irresponsible one, for it is not responsible to deny her).  We invite her in, and wait. For me dance is a beautiful opening to Her. When we tune into the impulses of the body, and simply allow the body to move, to play…without judgement, we are learning to express her.  And we will dance Her tonight in the Temple of She! We will dance her peeping out of her cave, in and out in and out with the breath, allowing her to show herself to us. So that we can call her and move more freely, more nimbly, more spontaneously. And in so doing, She will dance us.

dancedrawing3As i mentioned in my last post, drawing is another beautiful way to reconnect with your inner child.  Lucia Cappicone offers us her inner child work. She offers a full process worth investigating but quite simply we use the left hand (or the non-dominant one) to draw and dialogue with her. This is a wonderful process for developing a relationship with your inner child.  Mindfulness and meditation can help too. Starhawk offers us this meditation. It can be helpful to sit with this, to allow it to penetrate into your being, and then be open to the responses that arise in you.

“Visualize a silver crescent moon, curving to the right. She is the beginning of power, of growth , of generation. She is wild and untamed, like ideas and plans before they are tewaning cresentmpered with reality. She is the blank page, the unplowed field. Fell your own hidden possibilities and latent potential, your power begins to grow. See her as a silver haired girl running freely through the forest under the slim moon. She is Virgin, eternally unpenetrated, belonging to one one but herself. Call her name, Nimue and feel her power within you.”

Starhawk reminds us that we are not only calling ourselves, but calling the Goddess into our lives. We are calling on that divine energy, that aspect of Her as The Maiden, that blossoms in us, as our own unique aspect of Her.

artemis corregioArtemis was my first Goddess. She was the one I felt such a deep connection to. She who lived in the forests and the Sacred Groves, she who dwelt with nymphs, and the spirits of the trees and the animals. She who was fiercely independent and belonging to no one was my way into the world of the Goddess. I did my honours thesis at university on images of her in the court at Fontainbleu, and i have been searching for her for ever. She is with me now, in my dance, in my kinder work, in my life. Here is an image of her by Caravaggio. She is powerful, riding her chariot across the open space, the crescent moon adorning her.

tall book of make beliveYou can find images of the maiden Goddesses, find one that appeals and follow the journey. Follow that small girl you, rolling down sand dunes, climbing up trees, making daisy chains, splashing in the waves, searching for kissy things ( a soft sea urchin) and starfish in the rock pools, spinning and spinning with the joy of your body. You never know where you will end up.

Blessings

Sarah xxx

 

Experiencing Ovulation

How do you experience the period of ovulation? How does it feel to live this aspect of your cycle ? Yesterday, day on 13 of my menstrual cycle and one day before the full moon in ovul_1Capricorn, I asked myself this question. And my response is here. I would love for you to reflect on your own experience of ovulation. Do my words resonate? What are the synergies and the differences? What arises for you when you ovulate?

Wow, well today i feel juicy! Literally. I awoke tired and groggy from a fitful night of waking and sleeping on the couch- but the first thing i noticed was how wet I was!

Ovulation for me is a feeling of being able to meet the world fully. I feel able to dance and participate in this great cosmic dance of life/death/life.  My energy is flowing, my ideas are flowing and I am active in their manifestation. Like this “innerview.” I was inspired earlier in the month by a wonderful innerview with Kristen Lee Read and Kerri Alenka Merral, and while out walking yesterday i thought of videoing myself at some point. But today came and i was impatient and excited and decided that even without a recorder I could innerview myself. And so on this day of ovulation I birthed this innerview.

So i am also grateful for my walk yesterday. Walking is part of my daily practice. Walking is a great facilitator. The creative energy flows more easily when we walk. Which makes sense really, for when we are moving, our energy is moving and flowing, and our ideas, our creativity are part of this energy, this chi, this shakti.

slfSo when we move, the ideas move with us. Added to this is the power of nature, of being out in the world. When we are outside, walking in the park for instance, we open ourselves to the world, to that creative flow of all life. And if we are open to it, then this energy rushes in. The whole world can come in, if we let it. And if this makes sense to you, read David Whyte, or Mary Oliver, or better yet go out and greet the world.

heartsWhere was I, ah ovulation. Yes ovulation is a time of expansion, and so sometimes that expansion can be a bit unfocused? I might find myself off topic, dreaming all the possibilities, all the potential of this beautiful season and finding ways to birth them. Now! While ovulating i feel my desire for life, for union with all things,- so you see i wasn’t really off topic when talking of walking, and being in the world. For this desire for union with the world (yes and with my darling husband!) is an essential part of my ovulatory experience. This is the biological imperative after all, isn’t it, to create, to procreate?

I wonder if my desire for union with the world also reflects my personal bent. I am a Libran after all, and we seek union. We seek to bring things together in the most beautiful ways, to co-opt, to cooperate. We  bring together that which is seemingly disparate. We see connection and go for it. And we are guided by Venus. So beauty is everywhere. Sometimes it is ferocious, and sometimes soft. But this whole world is Beauty full, and seeking connection, integration and harmony.

top of mountainIt all sounds magnificent doesn’t it? Yes but, ah there is always a but (those scales might just tip back the other way) and i have noticed that just before ovulation, just before full moon, i can panic. I was having a lovely time yesterday listening to Caroline Casey- an awesome astrologer, and i was seeing connection, and everything was making sense. I felt like i was at the top of the mountain with this great overview (OK I do have Capricorn Ascendant, so i kind of like the mountain metaphor!) and then i looked back behind me, and went woah….how did i get here? what am i doing? what was i thinking? I’m stuck…..help.

Yep it was one of those moments. I totally lost faith in myself. And this can happen at this point in my cycle. I have noticed that just before the massive high of ovulation, there is a slight dip! I think maybe its my loyal soldier, still guarding those past wounds. Even though i have assigned him another job, he still pops up from time to time, to remind me that I can’t. I can’t possibly do this ,or that, or anything much for that matter. What did i do then? What do you do when those old stories/fears/patterns/triggers arise?

I invited him in..Hello, here you are again. Come in and sit down, but don’t make yourself too comfortable because i don’t expect you to be here too long. And i think this helps- firstly the recognition that the story is back, and is OK. But secondly that the story is a guest for a short time. I have been round and round these cycles long enough to know, as Jane Hardewicke Collings says, “this too will pass.” So instead of getting bogged down in these thoughts, I watched a romantic movie with my daughter on the couch, cooked some dinner and then sat with my feelings, and then what do you know I wake up today saying I can, and more than that, I am!radiantlight

So here I am back on top of the mountain, looking at my births this cycle, which are deepening of births that have been arising since last spring really….Story telling, saying yes in the moment, which sometimes requires saying No to others, and flowing with creative potential, manifest today in my felted balls!

journalingSo this is my story of ovulation. What’s yours?  You might find it useful to ask yourself this questions and journal your own responses, or you may want to video/voice record yourself, or dance. Feel whatever is right for you, and engage with the experiences of your cycle and your body. There is much out there to guide you, follow your hunches and see where they lead!

Blessings on this Full Moon in Capricorn.

Sarah xxx

(sunlight picture above by Megan Forbes!)

on the dark….

dark moon

The dark and new moons are nearly upon us, and this gives us time to reflect on the importance of these moon phases. The dark moon is a time of release, of letting go. It is a death of sorts, the kind of death that is necessary to make way for the new. So at the dark moon we can release all that no longer serves.  Now is a good time to think about issues that have been arising that are no longer useful. This might be ideas or ways of being that don’t serve your higher purpose.

Sometimes it can be difficult to look at these aspects but with the dark and new moon in Scorpio we are more equipped to look into the dark aspects of the self. And with a solar eclipse heading our way there will be greater finality to all that we let go of, and then all that we birth. It is a great time to begin tuning into the moon, and using the energy of the cycles.

So find some time to dance, to meditate, to turn within and see what arises. Ask your body, show me what you are feeling, and follow the body where it leads. For those of you about to bleed, or in weeks 3-4 of your cycle, these issues might be more self- evident. Remember to look for the patterns behind what is troubling you, where have you noticed this before?  How does it relate to deep issues of identity and your truth?  Notice what you notice, and wateronearthrelease what needs to be released.

As ever be gentle with yourself through all this. According to Cathy Pagano, (from the Mystic Mumma site) Neptune in Pisces will support compassionate release.  So go for it.

Having released with the dark moon, we can then focus on what we want to birth with the new moon. Feel into what is arising within you? What is waiting to be born? Again dance and move freely, allowing your body to guide you, to show you what you are feeling. The wisdom of your body is immense. Your bodies intelleignce relates to the earth’s intelligence, so don’t underestimate it. Instead make use of the new moon in scorpio to see the truth of your bodies wisdom, to tune into that which wants to arise in you.

You may want to lie on the earth, and do some grounding work. Those of you who have danced with me, will know how often I ask you to surrender fully to the earth, feel how she IMG_5531holds and nurtures you, and then from this deep place of trust and surrender rise up with that which is emerging in you. Use the lunar cycle to birth this new seed within you, or to allow a bud to flourish more fully.

Reading all about this moon makes me wish I had organised a dance with you all, but i have needed to settle into a new routine, to have space for the new work i am doing with children. So instead I will celebrate the dark moon at Red Tent East , and dance my prayers in the garden on Friday night.  For my work, my truth is deepening my connection to mother earth, to trusting Her, trusting the cycles, and trusting that the Feminine is returning.  My work is to let go of that which hinders my ability to do this, and so I will use the new moon in Scorpio to give great thanks for the opportunities I have to work with children and women. I will give great thanks that we all can deepen our bonds with the the earth, that we can open our hearts and minds to the wisdom of the body & the sacredness of She.

Blessings on this beautiful dark and new moon xx

please visit http://www.mysticmamma.com/ for some wonderful astral insights on this moon.