The question is not what I want to be, it’s how I want to be. How do I want to live my life on a daily basis? What are the small interactions I want to invest in? Sometimes I get so caught up in what I should be doing in the world, that I forget I am always being in the world. Is my way of being, congruent with my vision for the world? Am I so caught up with stuff going on out there, that I miss what is happening right in front of and within me?
So my questions for myself are how can I live my life daily, moment by moment in support of the my vision for a healed and whole earth/self? Where do I want to place my attention? To what and with whom do I want to experience this world? And what do I need to do to support this? What is my daily practise? What are the triggers, reactions, stories that come up from my woundings to remind me of the work I still need to do? These will need review and reflection of course!
And so firstly to stories. I think a lot about stories, remembering as a child how important they were and still are to me. I have been crafting my own stories for children, encouraged by the Nourishing Childhood course I am studying. These stories reflect my love of nature, and the need to be more intimate with her. I am lucky to have children and families at playgroup and kindergarten to interact with my stories, to reflect on them, shape them. Stories are how we shape ourselves in this world, so we need to be enthralled in stories that enliven us, that inspire us and that place ourselves within the cosmos.
We live in a storied world. Everything is a story, everything we create is based on a belief, a view and idea or story of the world and our place in it. (Thanks Frank Fisher!) So we need to think carefully about our stories, and in particular the stories of our culture. The dominant paradigm (really just another word(s) for the big story ) is the thinking that underpins all that we do. Unfortunately our story is one of disconnection. It is a linear story…that sets itself and all of us, above and separate from the earth and the cosmos. And it is therefore doomed. For we are the earth. We are animals living out very strange and estranged lives. We are estranged from her! And while the lucky ones may have exquisitely beautiful lives, and opportunity, many of us are leading horrifying lives. Truly horrifying. And we are all in this together. We are animals of this earth. And the earth in all her majesty is telling us her story, right now. She is inviting us to find new ways to live, ways that will not upset her delicate balance, but will instead restore(y) our active participation in her life/death/life cycles.
So we need to listen anew, with the ears of our heart open wide, to the stories of the earth and all her creatures. The dynamics of life run in all of the earth, in mountain, in river, in raindrop, in bull ant, in the wing of a grasshopper. The whole world is singing to us, storying to us…and we need to become earth literate. We are lucky here in Australia, we have the generosity of the oldest living culture on earth, showing us how to listen. We need to learn what Miriam-Rose Ungunmerr-Baumann and her people call, Dadirri. “Dadirri is inner, deep listening and quiet, still awareness. Dadirri recognises the deep spring that is inside us. We call on it and it calls to us. This is the gift that Australia is thirsting for.”
And so while the big stories are being played out, there are also the smaller stories which are no less riveting and powerful. I have watched myself in recent months get caught up in someone else’s story. I have watched how this woman has allowed her personal wounding to create such a powerful and ultimately destructive story. I have watched as many of us have become hooked into it. Without noticing I was in the whirlwind of her story, caught like a bug in spider’s web. Because that’s the power of the story, if you don’t stand back and watch where you are going, you find yourself stuck in it. After all we are woven into the same fabric.
So for me, it’s the daily awareness of watching what is on the surface and what lies below. This story has been a gift- a reminder that we can only choose whether or not to participate in the particular story, if we recognise it as a story, and recognise then if not this one, then another. For stories are who we are. With the feminine so wounded it is easy to get triggered, to get hooked in and find oneself back in the shadow story, in the story of resentment, and revenge. But I remind myself of the work I have done. I remind myself I am not a victim, I am a storyteller, whose own wounding have been the treasures and the gifts for living my life in the fullest way. Like Lilith we all need to reclaim the exiled parts of ourselves, feel it, know it, and then reintegrate this shadow aspect of ourselves into a story of transformation and healing. And this beautiful full moon energy offers us the illumination we need to see in the dark.
So I am grateful for all the stories, the ones of beauty and of terror, for all are aspects of the cosmos, all are invitations to participate fully in this world. And I am grateful to the whole world for inviting us into the story, so that we can be active in the listening and the telling. For every story needs to be told and needs to be heard. A storyteller is someone who listens, someone who hears the story so we can then be free of it, if we so choose, or recreates it, if it’s worth retelling again and again and again. What stories are you participating in?